October 12, 2015 by asnichol - 0 comments

Daily Write, 10/12 What My Discourse Community Map Has to Teach Me

For the weekend homework, I focused on four discourse communities of mine. The way I communicate with my daughter, Jane. The way I communicate as a teacher (my Mrs. B identity). The way I communicate with a church group I’m apart of (the Neighborhood Life Committee). And the way I communicate in my professional setting (the University of Mississippi Writing Project).

What I notice that I’m proud of in the way I communicate is that I really try and capture some of Jane’s moments in writing, either through blogging, my HuffPost work, or through journaling/emailing her “future self.” Of course, we also share notes (Jane can’t write yet, but we draw pics and leave them in funny places). She has something drawn for me almost every day, and I always put it on the fridge or in a prominent place. One of my favorite things I do to communicate with Jane’s “adult” self is keeping a journal to her. I started it about a year before I got pregnant, when I’d first started thinking about motherhood. I can’t wait to give it to her years from now so that she can see this realistic side of being a woman and starting a family.

What I notice that’s problematic about the way I communicate is that I rarely interact with UMWP or NBL unless I have a specific role to play. Life gets to busy, and there is far more going on in these two committees than I can be apart of with working and taking care of my kiddo. So I’ll sign up every once in a while for a job (VBS in the summer, Transitioning Symposium, the All Saints Christmas Dinner), and I feel good about those things, but I avoid all else. It makes me question whether or not my heart is really into the work or whether or not I just see my committee work as a “social obligation.”

Overall, I’m a writer, so I think communication is sorta built into my identity in a way that it may not be for other people. I love to talk. I love to write. I love to write about talking. I love to talk about writing.

October 9, 2015 by asnichol - 0 comments

My sister and me

So, I love my sister, but we’re so different. I can’t even begin to explain all the ways in which we are different. But, I do have a great visual to illustrate it. It’s a sample text message I received from her just this morning. Heather doesn’t communicate very well. She hates to be “chatty;” she’s not the fun type to go out with on a girl’s night. She’s not one to use a lot of exclamation points in her messages. She’s straight to the point. Sometimes I don’t know how to read that. Like in this message about watching my daughter this weekend. When she messages back, “She can stay with me,” I can’t tell if that’s exciting for her or if it makes her mad (like I’ve now ruined her Friday evening). She gives no other details, no emojis to express her feelings more fully. And when I’ve asked her about it, she’ll say she just doesn’t like using all of that stuff when texting. Of course, I have tons of exclamation points. I use emojis when I text because I feel like it gives people a better understanding of my thought process (or at least the feelings behind what I have to say). I really wish she’d take a hint because I have no idea sometimes where she stands on things. Here’s the text:

October 8, 2015 by asnichol - 0 comments

“Writer’s Block at the Tomb” – My Response

I truly love this blog post for its simplicity of words but its depth of heart.

The way Fiering juxtaposes her memories of her father with those of her beloved brother is soothing to me and helps me to understand the difficulties all families face in the wake of death. It also makes me think about the ways in which we communicate. The way that Fiering and her brother Andrew had so much trouble coming up with a simple engraving for her father’s tombstone…that resonated with me. Her aunt felt like it was such a simple decision, but as brief as the words needed to be, it took months for them to think about it (and thankfully, the aunt just did it for them).

When faced with her brother’s demise, Fiering’s mother had “writer’s block,” when trying to convey her final message to him. Like most faced with death, she wanted to deny it, saying a miracle could still happen. Luckily, Fiering convinced her to tell him her final words.

I laughed when Fiering felt resentment toward her sister-in-law for leaving her voice out of her brother’s tombstone message. It’s so typical of sibling relationships. They are some of the closest bonds we can have, but they become a side note as we enter adulthood.

Of course, Fiering finding that final note from her brother resonated with me as well. It made me think about my own family dynamics. I grew up very close to my younger brother, Billy. We’ve grown apart over the years as we both have families of our own, but regardless of that, each year, he writes me funny birthday cards. I look forward to them every year, and he didn’t disappoint this last week when he gave me a “Happy 40th birthday” card and commenced to talk to me about the troubles of middle age. I AM NOT FORTY, by the way. I’ve got a ways to go for all that. But, it was a hilarious note about the fact that we are all getting older, our children are getting so big, and life’s just charging along like crazy, but to him, we’re still little kids. That’s the beauty of having a sibling. They will always see you as you were then.

Loved this piece. Hope all of you did too. Hope it got you thinking about your family as its own discourse community, with its own strains and its own triumphs.