Posted on by Greyson Young

New Audience, New Problems

When Mrs. Forgette told our class that we were going to be making a website about our research paper I knew that there was a catch. Unfortunately for me, I was right. The research paper was ten pages of sophisticated writing directed toward an academic audience but our website was supposed to be aimed at 18 year olds. You wouldn’t think that this would be that big of a problem, but boy would you be wrong. By simply changing the audience I had to rethink my entire paper. I could not simply transfer references, rhetoric, or language from my research paper over to the website. Well, I could but I’m pretty sure that I would have failed the assignment. The real problem with this change wasn’t the age difference, it was the fine print of the audience which I don’t think a lot of the other students noticed. Our research paper was supposed to be an academic audience who was somewhat familiar with the topic at hand. The college students didn’t have a clue about our subjects. This meant that I had to explain more basics in my website than I did in my research paper. I went in with the mindset of teaching chemistry to a toddler; explain the basics in the simplest way you can, and include pictures.

As I started thinking of my new audience, I wondered how I was going to discuss failing schools in a way that not only intrigued them, but made them want to read more. My first draft was AWFUL. I wrote it and it made me bored to read it. I realized that I needed a complete overhaul. I rewrote my articles a couple more times and saw a drastic improvement. I had included anecdotes and several pop cultural references. I do hope that I never have to mention the Kardashians in a college paper again. I felt confident, but when I looked at the site as a whole it was still very bland. It was just text, good text, but nothing else. The first article that I started on was the racial inclusion piece. This text was not great compared to the others and I was having a lot of trouble finding anything to make this particular subject POP to a college audience. While I was watching TV one night, TNT played a commercial for “The Help” and a million ideas came to head. After finding what I believe to be the most perfect gifs for that text, I felt on top of the world. I finished the racial inclusion article around 9 at night and continued working until my entire homepage was done. I used that one idea throughout the whole homepage and was shocked at how great it came together. Now, I might have gotten a little gif heavy, but I doubt that I will ever do something so academically-creative again so I decided to go all out.

I really thought that I would despise this multimodal, maybe because of Powtoon’s looming presence, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Posted on by Greyson Young · 1 Comment

Argument 3-2-1 Unit Reflection

While writing this project, I learned a lot about the writing process. This was the first project where we had to really focus on our citations, which was a big obstacle for me. Up until a week ago I had never cited a paper in MLA format, so I had to rely heavily on an MLA format book I bought in the Union. I think that it took me an entire afternoon to figure out how to properly cite my paper, but now I feel like I could cite with my eyes closed. Even though it seems like it should be common knowledge, I learned that research is the key to a good paper. I wish that I could say that I didn’t spend an entire week solely looking up research, but if I did I would be a liar. There were a lot of differing arguments in The New York Times for my topic, so I had to be very specific in finding my research. It took my a while to finally start discovering information, but once I did it felt as if I was blazing through articles. At the end of the drafting process, I think I had printed out over fifteen different articles and completely drained the ink from my printer. The most important thing that I learned was discussed in class on Friday. When we did the project focusing on writing style, it hit me that I had a real problem with this. When Mrs. Forgette started taking out unnecessary words and stabilizing the flow of the paragraphs I knew that if I wanted to improve my grade I needed to do that. I will admit that once I finish a paper I think that it is time to submit when I really should be reading over it with a fine comb. I tried to do this for my argument and trust me when I say that nearly one hundred words came out.

One of the biggest questions I had throughout the writing process was using 1st person. I faintly remember someone, perhaps Mrs. Forgette, say that we shouldn’t really use 1st person in the unit because it needs to be credible. I tried to google it to see the correct way but there were way too many conflicting responses. When it came time for the peer review Wiki, I got a comment back that said I needed to use more 1st person in my paper to make it more relatable, which through me for a loop. I decided to write my paper without talking about “I” but about “we”. Whenever I addressed something that needed to be done, I would say “we need to ….”. I felt like because this issue pertains to everyone, we shouldn’t exclude people, but be united instead. Another question I had was with the researching criteria. We had to use research that came from the library guides only, which bugged the everliving crap out of me. I understand that this unit is all about credibility but if I can find a source that is 100% credible through regular google I think that I should be able to use it. Maybe I feel this way because I found a good ten sources from regular google before I actually read the instructions and saw that none of those were going to work. I blame myself for that one.

The greatest opinion that I have after this project is that seriousness of the drinking problem. I have grown up around people that drink, and I knew that coming to college I would be around more people that drink. I never would have imagined how bad the problem until I read all of the statistics from research. It was scary to see all of the horrific numbers and then to think that its literally happening all around me. I think that everyone should inform themselves on this issue, because it truly effects every single one of us.

 

Posted on by Greyson Young

Visual Analysis Unit Reflection

Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 10.13.44 AM

When I was still in search for an Op-Doc to write about, I started watching “Gorillas in the Crossfire”. Most of the other documentaries that I had watched had left me disinterested after the first few minutes, but after seeing this scene in “Gorillas in the Crossfire” I knew that my search for an Op-Doc was over. This particular scene astounded me at the level of seriousness that it radiated. This was the first moment in the film where the audience could see the gorillas reacting to the horrific environment around them. As somber music played in the background, a mother gorilla and her baby embraced each other which stirred an array of emotions in myself. Another key element in the magnitude of this scene was the graphic text. It hurts me enough inside to see these animals living their lives in anguish, but to couple that with text describing their rapid rate of extinction was almost unbearable. I am an extremely big animal lover which was why I clicked on this documentary in the first place, but when I saw how awful the gorillas looked sitting in that forest, I understand not only the topic of my paper, but the way in which I would write it. By watching this particular scene, I knew that I wanted to write my analysis in a way that described how I felt at that moment; I wanted to write about the intense amounts of emotion that this documentary exuded.

nosoundipadair

 

When I was in the early stages of writing, and I mean so early that the only thing on my paper was my name, I struggled with finding clear evidence to support my thesis about the use of pathos in the film. I knew by watching the film that the pathos was there, but I couldn’t figure out how to write about what I was watching in an in-depth way. The next day, after a long, unsuccessful night in the library, Mrs. Forgette gave me a very valuable piece of advice which was to watch the film without sound and then listen without watching. At first this seemed very strange. After she said it, I kind of dismissed the idea, thinking that in no way it could help me. As I sat hopelessly looking at my computer later that night, I thought “Why not?” and decided to try Mrs. Forgette’s idea. After watching and then listening to the video, I was completely shocked at how much information and I had written down in my notebook. I literally had five pages worth of notes full of vivid examples relating to the visual and audio elements of the film and could only muster up a tiny paragraph in the two days before. Every single example that I incorporated into my analysis came from that night of watching and listening to the film.

tcoy-CTA-web300_0

My thesis discussed how the mountain gorillas of Congo were overshadowed during the war and that the filmmaker created the documentary to give a voice to the gorillas. It took me a while to find a photo that accurately depicted my thesis, but I don’t think that I could have found one better than this. This picture states that the gorillas are calling on us. They need us to be their voice and do everything in our power to protect them. Throughout the film, the filmmaker utilizes all aspects of the documentary in order to make the audience sympathize with the gorillas. His goal with doing this was to make us see how they lived their lives and realize how they need us to be their voice. This pictures is straight forward in telling the viewer what needs to be done.

Posted on by Greyson Young · 1 Comment

#WatchReadRepeat

As this week progressed, I learned another valuable set of information about the writing process. While doing the literacy guide, I had to write multiple drafts in order to get my paper where I thought that it should be. I know that I am going to have to do the same drafting process with my visual analysis, but it will be slightly different. With this unit, we aren’t writing about an article or other text form, we are writing about a video. The hardest thing about this is that you have to watch the video over and over day after day until you feel confident that you have gotten all of the needed information out of it. My hashtag sums up this week in terms of the drafting process: watch the video, read over your notes and draft, and then repeat the process. After multiple times of completing this process of the weekend, I hope that my draft will be so much better than it currently is.