Don’t Peak in Your First Year

I know. It’s exciting. You walk on campus and become consumed by the smell of alcohol and bad decisions. You parents were protective in high school and sitting at home with a plate of pizza rolls and a Wheel of Fortune marathon was your idea of a crazy Friday night. But you’re finally here. Finally free. Finally able to spin the Wheel of Blissful Regret on the Oxford Square. You can’t wait to call your hometown best friend about your drunken hookup or your first time smoking ” the drugs “. You can’t wait to have the experiences Netflix told you you should be having. But these are just thoughts that come on the first week, you know, the week before classes start. Fast forward two months and it’s Sunday night and you’re crying because that drunk hook up never called you back and you spent all your money on drugs that in way made you feel like that episode of Workaholics described it and you have a midterm tomorrow at 8am when you haven’t been to class in three weeks. Suddenly those long awaited bad decisions that you so desperately wanted to make, just become bad decisions. Suddenly it’s Friday night and you’re begging for a night in to watch GSN. Suddenly you realize that maybe being lame all those years wasn’t so bad.

Or maybe that’s just me…

First Semester Gone Right

I was scared to death when my parents and I drove up to Burns Hall on August 14th. I knew there was no way I could handle this whole “college” thing. I had left my friends, boyfriend, family, my home, everything six hours away back in Atlanta. I’m from Atlanta, a huge city with something going on every night, and now I am being dumped in Oxford, Mississippi, where if you’ve seen Jackson Avenue, you’ve seen it all. I was so scared of failure, but could feel it coming. Would I have to move back home? Would my parents hate me? I remember just praying that God could get me through fall semester.

I remember walking into my dorm room, Burns 102, and meeting my new roommate. But now she is no longer just my roommate, she is my best friend. I remember meeting the kids in my FASTrack cohort. But now they are no longer just classmates, they are the people who get me through the day. I remember seeing my writing professor for the first time, but now she is no longer just my professor, she is someone I can always count on to have my back. I loved it here. I had found my new home and suddenly Atlanta became a memory, a memory that I loved and cherished, but did not yearn for. Everything seemed to be falling into place. It only took a few weeks for me to decide that God had answered my prayers and not only was I going to get through the semester, I was going to enjoy doing it.

But then I got a call. A call that will forever be imprinted into my memory. A call that changed my life. A call from my dad. A call saying my grandmother was in the hospital. A call saying my grandmother probably would never wake up. I threw everything I had in a bag and took off, driving at least 90mph down the highway to get to the Baptist Medical Center in Birmingham. The next day, upon seeing and hearing the heartbeat machine that was hooked up to my best friend flat line, a sound and image I will never forget, my heart was broken. All my doubts about college and making it out on top reappeared. Suddenly all my praises about Oxford vanished as quickly as they appeared. There was nothing else to do, but keep praying.

I came back to school lost and confused. I couldn’t eat or sleep, much less focus on my classes. I thought there was no way I was going to make it to December. And then my roommate brought me to Chi Alpha. A Christian ministry on campus to whom I now owe everything to. A Christian ministry on campus that changed my life. A Christian ministry on campus that I couldn’t live without. Chi Alpha helped me in ways I could have never imagined. I got back on track with school. I became able to cope with the hole in my family. I was going to be able to pass fall semester with flying colors. God had answered my prayers yet again.

We now approach the end of the semester. Finals week is upon us and I am ready. I will end this semester with a 4.0 and I know my grandmother would be so proud. I have a new home, and new friends, an amazing support system in Atlanta, and nothing but joy in my heart. So what’s the key to college? Just keep praying.

 

**EDHE final paper**

Thoughts with Ambs

The HARDEST part about this project with the word maximum. Taking out all of the fluff and just getting to the point isn’t something we are told to do often. However, it was refreshing; just being able to type exactly what I mean and feel about the subject without having to politically correct or set up too much background information was really kind of fun. I also really enjoyed having to make a website. I think I will continue to write and post on it throughout my college career.

Midterm Reflection

How is life?

LOL.

I went to McDonald’s last night at 1 in the morning for ice cream and chicken nuggets. This is the point I’ve reached in my life.

I woke up this morning and opened my computer to continue to work on my paper and cried tears of joy when I saw that I must have slept wrote a whole paragraph last night because here there it was, done, but I had no recollection of doing it.

I am also super sad because I got a 94 on my math test which made my grade in the class drop from 102 to 99 …. this is what college has done .. I am upset I no longer have a 100 in college algebra.

But here’s the video that prevents me from jumping off a bridge :

 

“I’m A Mess”

With the overwhelming events of last week and early on this week, my mind has been clouded. Missing four days of class in college I believe should be means for prescription drugs for stress. Missing Monday and Tuesday this week started me off behind and what’s worse is I can’t even catch up because I still can’t think clearly. Every time I try to study or focus on homework my mind drifts off to thinking about the hole in my family. That being said, I have spent 90% of my time this week in the study room in Burns. Jeremy, Fred, Peyton, and I basically moved into the study room this week, but I suppose it was worth it because I made a 100% on my math test. However, where I excelled in math, I lacked in writing. My paper is struggling and all I can do is just stare at it blankly. I know there is so much more I can do with it, but right now is base level which upsets me because the topic has the potential to be deeper. What can I say? I’m a mess.

The “Catch”

Before when I thought about going to college there were so many things I wanted to do. I wanted to explore, experiment, make new friends, life long friends, go to parties, go to football games, drive to Taco Bell at 3am just because my mom wasn’t there to tell me no. Few of the dreams I had about college included class. Class was kind of the “catch”, if you will, of going to college. Then when I got here, my mindset completely flipped. I went to class, went to the dorm and studied for hours on end, went to bed around 12 and then got up and started it all over again. I went to one party and suddenly wondered why that had been what I was looking forward to this whole time. But with the events of the past week I think I learned, more than ever before, the need for balance. 99.9% of the time, class is a must, but maybe playing hookie (or hooky?) one day wouldn’t hurt. Even though I was so excited about leaving home and being six hours away from Mom and Dad, perhaps taking my homework on the road so I could sit on their couch and study instead of mine would be okay. I think the most important part of college is growing as a person and I thought the best way to do that was on my own, but my family helped me grow this far, might as well keep them around for a little longer. As far as football games? Yeah, they’re still top priority. So what’s the real catch you ask? Learning to balance all the things there are to do and accepting the decisions you make, and that’s something no class, nor party will ever teach you.

 

PS: I know that EDHE is supposed to teach us balance and time management and all that crap, but that is the worst class I have ever experienced and if and when I skip class, it will be that one.

“Dream Catchers”

I think I am going to write on option four. I ruled out number three because I am white and do not romanticize Native Americans and I am not sure I even understand what Corliss means when she says that. Prompt two is a touchy subject for me since my boyfriend is African American and my dad does not approve of our relationship and therefore I don’t want my paper to get too opinionated and focused on my specific situation instead of the United States as a whole. I really like both the first and last prompts. The first however, focuses on quests, which includes my personal quest, but quests imply a gain of self knowledge at the end and I have yet to reach the end of my quest and therefore lack the quest-enlightened self knowledge and would rather write on this prompt at the end of senior year perhaps. The final choice instructs me to write on what it means to be college-educated, and with the passing of my grandmother today I am already starting to realize I am learning a lot more in college than book smarts. I am concerned simply about writing my first real college paper and relating all three elements(Ten Little Indians, Dream Catchers video, and my own person testimony) in a cohesive manner that flows properly.

Ole Miss vs. University of Mississippi

“Why?”

“Come on, Amber, don’t go there.”

“But I thought you were smart?”

“You don’t even drink…”

These are all reactions I got from peers, teachers, and adults alike when I revealed my decision to go to Ole Miss. As a 4.0, honor roll, AP student nobody could figure out why I would pick Ole Miss to attend to further my education, where they figured not much education furthering was going to happen.

However, when I said I was going to the University of Mississippi, a top ten ranked university for Hospitality Management, one of the most beautiful campuses in the country, and ranked SEC sports team, I got a little bit of a different reaction.

Somewhere along the line people received only one story of Ole Miss: drugs, alcohol, Greek life gone wild, and other various extra curricular activities. What people seem to have forgotten, or just chooses to omit, is every university from Harvard to Kennesaw State University to BYU to Liberty University has said extra curriculars that students can, or cannot, participate in. They don’t see my 15 hour schedule, my 100% class attendance, or the six hours I spent studying last night to get a 92 on my math test (I got a 92 on my math test!!!!!!!!!!!) at the University of Mississippi. Therefore I say Hotty Toddy with pride and challenge everyone’s one story with my Ole Miss Story.

Drunk Chronicles

11:32pm. I’m in my bed. My roommate is in bed. With PJ’s on and make up off we were settled in for a a good night’s rest after a day of what seemed like impossible tasks. Her phone rings.

“Hello?”

I can’t hear the other end of the conversation, but I had a pretty good idea who it was.

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a second.”

The infamous late night, drunk call from the square by our two favorites: Avery and Alex.

“They need a ride, you going?”

We jump out of bed, which I mean quite literally since neither of our 5 foot selves can reach the floor while from the bed. PJs off, shoes on, we head out. The CA’s at the front desk give us questioning looks as we exit the building, but we dodge their fire and begin the five minute journey to the square. We arrive at our usual meeting spot, the parking space right in front of Rooster’s and wait for the boys to stumble, literally stumble, into the car. Backing out of the parking spot may be the hardest part as every one feels they have more important places to be than you. We eventually find ourselves on the path to take our friends home. We see flashlights in the distance. We approach men in uniform. They knock on the window.

“License, please”

I pull out my license out and allow him to speculate if it’s valid or not. I’m sure he’s used to fakes. He asked a few questions and allowed me drive away, slowly and carefully of course. The boys were hungry. We pulled up to Cook Out and laughed as the drunken boys tried to spill their orders out. Fed and happy, we drove them to their apartment and watched them attempt to get up the stairs to their second floor oasis.

“Never a dull moment with them, huh?” said Mary Catherine.

“I don’t think drinking is for me.”

Sink, But Don’t Drown

Remember watching Titanic? When the ship is sinking, all the life boats have been taken, and everyone stands helplessly watching their lives flash before their eyes, except it doesn’t flash, it is a slow and painful process of the waiting game as you feel the ship sink further and further into the abyss. That’s how my first week of college felt. I’ve studied more in this so called “syllabus” week than I did my entire senior year in high school and I am still behind. Textbooks are like the life boats…there seem to be so many, but here I am: lifeboat (textbook) less. The complex relationship between Jack and Rose resembles the way I feel about being away from home; one second I love it and I am “never letting go”, the next I am calling my mom begging her not to let me go. Finally I think of the cold water, literally freezing people alive and I see my clock, that just won’t freeze no matter what. I can feel myself drowning and I am in search of a whistle.