Julie Cavallaro
January 19th, 2021
Writing 102
Mr. G
Bridge Project 2020-2021
After watching the TED Talk “Don’t ask me where I’m from, ask where I’m a local” presented by Taiye Selasi, I was able to learn about the three different elements that define a person. These elements are rituals: which are regular habits that structure your life, relationships: which are people you communicate with regularly, and lastly restrictions: which are pressures that limit you in some way.
The first element Selasi discussed with the audience was rituals. Rituals can include harvesting crops, driving to work, being polite to others, and so many more. In my everyday life, I follow rituals myself. The first ritual I follow is that every morning, right before my breakfast, I make myself a cup of coffee. Most mornings I will use my keurig coffee maker and insert the vanilla flavored coffee pod into the machine. Once my coffee is finished brewing, I then add vanilla creamer and vanilla flavoring and enjoy the hot beverage with my breakfast. Some mornings when I run out of time to make it myself, I will usually grab a coffee from Dunkin’ Doughnuts.
The next ritual I follow is taking my shoes off every time I am in my house. Ever since I can remember my mom has always had one rule, and that is to take our shoes off before we walk around our house. I’ve done it so many times now it’s become a habit of mine to take my shoes off, and has even followed me to college. Not exactly to the same extent, but taking my shoes off before I go on my bed.
Another thing that I do, which I would consider a ritual is having big family dinners every Sunday. I come from a big Italian family where being close to your family is extremely important. Every Sunday all my aunts, uncles, and cousins have a big dinner at my Nonni’s house, which translates to Grandparents in English. My Nonna makes a big meal which usually includes pasta, chicken cutlets, vegetables, and tons of other food. This tradition has been going on in my family for as long as I can remember and I would consider it to be a ritual of mine.
The last ritual that comes to my mind would be exercising. I grew up in an active family where I was always involved in some type of sport. Some sports I played and still play now include softball, basketball, volleyball, and running. Even though I am not currently involved in any sport, I try to exercise at least four times a week for at least an hour. I have always sued working out as a way to clear my mind from everything that is going on around me. I put in my airpods and blast my workout playlist and all my worries just seem to vanish. I consider working out to be a ritual of mine because it is something I do on a weekly basis. Whenever I don’t workout, it feels weird so I try to find time for it whenever I can.
The next element Selasi discussed with the audience was relationships. Selasi defined this element as people who can shape your weekly emotional experiences, people who shape your days, and people who you speak to at least once a week. One example of a relationship in my life would be calling my family at least once a week. Being twenty one hours from home can be pretty draining especially when you start to feel homesick. One way I like to avoid being homesick is by calling my family at least once a week. I also text my family usually once a day just to keep them updated on everything that is going on throughout the week.
Another thing I do that would fall under the relationship category would be talking to my friends from home almost every day. In college, it can be pretty difficult to keep in touch with friends from back home, which may lead you to drift apart from them. Before I left for college, my friends and I made a promise to call each other as often as we could so we can always be updated with each other’s lives. I would consider my friends to be my second set of sisters because we’re extremely close and value our friendship.
The last thing that I would categorize under the relationship element would be having a relationship with God. I grew up in a Catholic household where my family and I would go to church usually once a week or every other week. Whenever I would go to church, I would take that time to sit and think about myself and everything going on around me, oftentimes looking for signs or asking for answers. Being in college and all the busyness that comes along with it, it’s hard to find time to attend mass, but it is still a relationship I value.
The last element Selasi discussed with the audience was restrictions. Restrictions can be defined as pressures that can limit one in their everyday life. Some examples can include where you’re able to live, civil war, and what passport you hold. One restriction that I face in my everyday life is test anxiety. I’ve dealt with test anxiety ever since middle school and oftentimes it can be a struggle. I could spend a whole chapter or lesson knowing everything that was discussed in the class, but the second the test gets handed to me I draw a complete blank. It can be even more of a struggle when the class grade is based only off of exams and no other work.
Another restriction that I face in my everyday life is not knowing how to manage my time properly. I tend to procrastinate a lot which causes me to fall behind on my school work and other events going on in my life. Sometimes my procrastination can lead to me prioritizing my friends and social life before my school work, which is not a good thing and is something I hope to fix sooner rather than later.
