Epilogue: Connecting the Dots of Life and First Year Writing

When it came to reading and research, I learned what really interested me and what did not. I learned that I really like to read things about racism and the causes of it. The reason why the subject stood out to me so much is because it is something that I have had to deal with. It was an awful experience, and I never want to go through it again. Having gone through racism motivated me to see why people are racist or even prejudiced. When it came to writing, I learned that I need to be more forceful and not so scared of hurting people’s feelings. I had some pretty tough subjects to talk about, and I did not want to offend anybody. For example, during the first semester, I wrote about how white people have a tough time talking about racism from the video “A Conversation with White People about Race”. At first, I was afraid to even write on this subject, because I did not know how to say what I wanted to say without sounding like I was racist. However, this was something that really interested me, because you never hear people, especially white people, talk about their racism. I would go to my teacher and ask her if what I was saying was offensive, because I did not want to make anybody mad. I also struggled with writing about racism, because last year, my peer reviewer was a young white male. I did not want him to start thinking I was racist or hated his kind. This fear of never knowing what to say or how to say it was something I had to overcome in my first year writing. It was a very tough fear to conquer, because I preach against racism, but I did not want him to think I was a hypocrite if I said something and it came across in the wrong way. When it came to high school, I was never able to write on things that interested me. We always had to right on a specific subject, and it never dealt with race. Even though I wish we would have written on race, I am really glad we did not because I probably would have been kicked out of the school. Talking about race has really opened my eyes to the things going on in our world pertaining to racism. After talking about it for a year, I feel more educated in the knowledge of it and how to discuss it.

As I was flipping through the channels, I came to a stop when a show called “The Talk” was talking about what they were going to preview next. In the preview, they showed a picture of an interracial couple in the new Old Navy ad, and mentioned how it was stirring up controversy because of the interracial couple in it. This really piqued my interest, and I started to watch the show. I ended up having to leave before I was able to see what was going on, but I was able to look it up online. As I looked it up online, I saw all the hate towards Old navy changing the face of their ads. There were people saying that they were disgusted at Old Navy, that black men should be mad that a white man was taking their women, some even called the mother and son apes. The more comments I read, the angrier I became. As I continued to scroll down, there started to be more positive comments. Most of the people were saying thanks for showing how the idea of marriage has changed while other were posting pictured of themselves and their interracial relationships. As I was looking at the article, it made me think back to high school and what my basketball coach said to the varsity girls. I went to a school that was majority white, and she told the girls to stay away from the black boys because they were all thugs and did not want anything but their goods. The ad at Old Navy and the criticism it received brought me back to what happened in high school. I was so angry with my coach, because she preached daily that she was not racist, but then she says stuff like that. I remember thinking she was so hypocritical. This caused me to see that racism will always be ubiquitous. Racism has been going on since the 1930s, as stated in my paper “Why Do Police Officers Racially Profile”, when slave owners would beat slaves who they did not think were free. Even if everyone fifty years from now claims to not be racist, there will always be the closeted few. We as a nation need to learn how to talk about it and not be so hypocritical. We do not need to say we are not racist to some and then go around bashing people of the opposite race in front of others faces. I believe racism will finally end when people are able to talk about it in a respectful and mature way.

When it comes to watching television, I love to watch the old things that interested me as a kid. I was flipping through the channels once again, and I came across Boy Meets World. I was so obsessed with that show when I was a kid. That show showed me all sorts of things, but the most important thing it showed me was that interracial dating is a truly beautiful thing. Boy Meets World came out in the early 1990’s before I was even born and ended in 2000. Even though it ended before I was five, Disney Channel would show reruns and that is how I came to love the show. Boy Meets World introduced me to my first interracial couple. At that time, I was only like eight or nine so I really did not know what being a couple was, but I remember thinking that it was so cool. Shawn and Angela, the interracial couple, was my favorite couple to watch. I absolutely loved it and had no idea what was going on. Shawn and Angela also reminded me of one of my little crushes in pre-school. I thought this little white boy Tanner was so cute, and I did not even know what being cute was. Seeing Shawn and Angela made me think of that. As I grew up and started to realize what dating was, especially interracial dating, I wondered if the show ever faced backlash for putting Shawn and Angela together (she was his first love by the way). My curiosity got the better of me and I looked it up online. Some people were not to thrilled about it, but for the most part, the audience loved them together. This really shocked me at first, because during that time period, I know people still had a problem with interracial dating. Interracial dating is a beautiful thing, and it shows America that maybe we can move forward in racism and prejudice. Hearing people say that they loved it was refreshing. Shawn and Angela remind me of how racism will always surround us either in a good way or bad way. Shawn and Angela remind me that maybe America is moving forward in racism. It makes me wonder will we finally be able to look at people as just people and not see color. I think the possibility is there, but it is going to take some time. Then, I think back to the negative comments from the Old Navy ad and think, “We are moving one hundred years backwards!” It made me want to be negative and say, “Forget it!! People will never change!!” However, I know I cannot give up because there are some people out there who still want to make a change.

This first year of writing has taught me a lot about myself. I learned that it is ok to talk about things that interest you even if it is a controversial issue to talk about. I learned that race is still a very prevalent issue in the world, and people do not know how to deal with it. I also learned that even though racism is still prevalent, there are some people out there trying to make a difference. There are some who can talk about it in a civilized way. Having experienced racism, I know how painful it is. I know how it makes you want to go home and cry to your parents, because it was something I experienced for over ten years. Even though going through racism could have made me bitter, it didn’t. It pushed me to try to be one of the ones to end it. I will always try to fight racism so that this world can be a better place for this generation and future generations to come.

A Raw Reflection on My College Experience

The commonplace blog is a raw representation of how my learning has improved during this first semester. It showcases my weaknesses and strengths. I really enjoyed doing the reflections, because I realized what I could have done different in my papers. I hate not realizing it before, but I know how to make my papers better the next time. The one thing that is discussed most in my commonplace blog is my writing. After being in this class for one semester, I am more confident in my writing. I do not feel like I am an awful writer anymore. Even though some of my papers have not been amazing, knowing that I did my best is one of the greatest rewards. Besides my new found confidence in writing, the commonplace blog tells of my new found love for sociology. I did not know much about sociology, but I knew I had to take it. After taking it, I wish I could take it again next semester. Analyzing has become more of a strong suit for me. Analyzing is when someone does a detailed examination of something for discussion or interpretation. I used to hate to analyze, but after being in sociology and writing, it is not bad. It is interesting to look deeper into something to see how I would interpret it. The blog also shows how much I have grown as a writer. Even though I still struggle with redundancy, I am not as bad as I used to be. My writing has also improved by the use of transitions words. I know which transition word to put with each sentence. I also know how to transition from paragraph to paragraph better.

Furthermore, my commonplace blog reflects not only my academic learning, but it also showcases what concepts I have learned. As I said before, analyzing is the biggest concept captured in my blog. Analyzing can still be a struggle sometimes, but I am learning how to do it. My biggest problem with analyzing is knowing if I am actually understanding what I am reading or watching. It is not really the concept that trips me up, but the fear of not knowing if I am doing it right. The second concept captured in my commonplace blog, although not as detailed, is rhetoric. I did not know what rhetoric was until I came to college. When the unfamiliar concept was introduced to me, I panicked. Rhetoric is the art of using language effectively and persuasively which was unknown to me.

One thing that is missing from the blog is a more in depth discussion on rhetoric. Rhetoric was the biggest part of our writing experience this semester. However, I do not feel as though I discussed it thoroughly. I wish I would have had a more in depth discussion on how much I learned about rhetoric. Now that I understand what rhetoric means, it is not a bad concept.

The five final tags in the commonplace book are a true representation of my current understanding of what it means for me to be a college-educated person. The first two tags go hand-in-hand with insight. The first is “thorough.” This tag means asking questions to make sure that you understand what you are doing; being thorough in every part of the assignment; doing the research required; and making sure everything is organized correctly. The second tag related to insight is “depth.” This tag represents digging deeper into subjects through analysis and interpretation. Analyzing allows for more information, because of the in depth research on the topic. Interpretation allows for me to discover new ways to look at the topic. The next two tags express my emotion during my writing process. The tag “fear” is the emotion that troubles me the most. The fear of the unknown, meaning what did I receive on that paper or is the audience going to understand what I am trying to convey. The fear of failing because of the unknown, and the fear of inexperience on a concept I have never heard of before are also troubling. In the midst of “fear,” which leads into my fourth tag, I do receive some “confidence.” Throughout my last two years of high school, my teacher told me that I was not a very good writer which made my confidence level decline. After having a college professor tell me that I am a pretty decent writer, my confidence elevated. Confidence is something that I know I will continue to struggle with when it comes to writing. The peer reviews were nerve wrecking at first, but I have really grown to like them. Going to the conferences have helped the most, because there is no sugar coating on how my paper is. My final tag is “perfection.” This tag is a true representation of who I am. It represents my need to be perfect in everything I do which happens rarely. I will always make careless mistakes which might lead to fear, but that is the beauty of college. College is the place to grow and find out who I am as a person. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I will continue to be perfectly imperfect.