Rituals –
My top ritual that occurs every day before I go to bed is looking at the weather forecast for the next day and picking my outfit head to toe. This has been a ritual of mine since I was little. It mainly started because I always had to lay out my uniform(s) for softball when I had practice, a game, or a tournament the next day. When I got to middle school I realized how much easier it made the next day before softball so I decided to do it nightly to make my mornings easier as I am not a morning person.
My second ritual is my SKINCARE routine. This is a newer ritual for me as I just started it a few years back. This is something that is a must every morning when I wake up and right before I go to bed. It makes me feel so fresh in the morning and refreshed at night before bed. My skincare routine has taught me to appreciate more than just having clear skin, but also clean water.
My third ritual is art. I participate in some form of art daily before bed. Whether it be listening to a new genre of music in the morning while I get ready or painting for a period of time before bed. Art helps relieve stress and anxiety even when I don’t feel it present. It always adds a positive to my day even when I end up not liking the genre or artist I chose, it still calms me. (EXCLUDING screamo and rock…)
Relationship-
When I hear about a relationship I think of a couple rather than family, but since I only have one boyfriend I will also include my relations to family. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for one year on February 1st. His name to me is Tanner Jordan but he goes by Marvin. Tanner is my best friend. He has taught me within the past year and a half, how to love myself, love others, appreciate the little things, and not be so hard on myself constantly.
My second “relationship”, is with my mom. Before moving hours away, I never thought me and my mom were close. Now that the only contact we have for weeks through a cell phone, I realized how often I was a hundred feet or so feet apart from her. I spent so much time around her that she was always within yelling distance. My mom is my best friend, but first, she is always a mother.
My third relation is my father. My dad is a giant yet cuddly teddy bear. My dad works out of town so being apart from him was that big of a change. What it did change was my perspective on life. I realize now that I never called him as often as I should, now I see how quickly you could lose someone and not have spoken in days. I try my best to stay up till midnight so I can talk to my dad while he’s on the way to or just arriving at work. Making sure to always tell him to have a good day, I love him, and to be safe.
My sister is probably my weirdest relationship. We only talk a few times a week yet no matter how short the conversation is, I feel like she understands me better than anybody. The best part is she knows my emotion even when I don’t voice it. She is always there for me when I need someone to vent to about girl stuff or just tell the random parts of my day to. She has taught me so much and I will never thank her enough for that.
Restrictions-
Politics are my top restriction where I lived. Most people in my hometown are conservatives, especially the old school type. I come from a blended family tree. I also have a boyfriend of color whom you saw above. To this, it restricts me because I never realized how wrong the people in my city were. I never realized the stares we got as kids were because we were around my mixed cousins in public. I never stood by my family and friends of color because my parents didn’t raise me to avoid the beautiful humans that are of color. This restricts me still to this day because I want better for my cousins and everyone of color.
Procrastination is my top restriction. I know how to manage my time very well but somehow I always manage to procrastinate in one way or another. I have tried time and time again to plan my days out by the hour, but I always manage to throw the plan off schedule. I also know that I can do it decently quick, it is just starting the task that is hard. I do random things like clean just to procrastinate an important task.
Another procrastination of mine is anxiety, this is something I have struggled with for many years. It has cost me so many opportunities including friendships. I used to let my anxiety get the best of me now I try to give my best against anxiety. I now can have a quick conversation with strangers instead of being rude fake swiping on my phone. This is still a huge restriction when it comes to friends, socializing in groups, and taking big risks.
