What is hip hop? Everyone wants to be a
part of hip hop or rap. Hip hop is a style
of music, art, history, clothing trend, and
a part of culture. It has became very popular
since it was first created because there’s
not only African American rappers and
also even more groups.
Hip hop’s definition is a style of popular
music of US black and Hispanic origin,
featuring rap what electronic backing.
Hip hop was created on the poorest side
of New York City that not only produced
music, but also it produced break dancing
and graffiti. The DJs would make beats and
people would try to rhyme to them which
created rapping.
Hip hop is evolving more and more each
day. Hip hop was created by the African
American race, but it has evolved to where
everyone is a part of it.
Some people believe that hip hop belong
to African Americans because they were
the first to create hip hop. Some people
also believe that only black people can
rap, but they are all wrong. Hip hop
does not belong to any race or gender, the
only part of hip hop that belongs to the African
American race is culture, so anyone can
rap or dance and be a part of hip hop.
Anyone can rap, dance, or listen to that kind
of music because it hip hop itself belongs
to no one.
The culture of hip hop is just the way of
life. Hip hop’s culture is the not
only that but the way some people speak,
dress, and the things they do in everyday life.
Afrika Bambaataa’s definition of hip hop is
the way of life like the way a person speaks,
walk, and act, but the music is colorless.
Afrika Bambaataa is known for the “Godfather”
of hip hop so what he thinks of hip hop is
very important. Hip hop’s culture is just
everyday life.
Almost everyone is a part of the hip hop
culture. Almost everyone is a part of that
Culture because they listen to hip hop
music, they dress hip hop, or they grew
up in the hip hop culture. Just because
some people aren’t African American or
don’t rap because just listening to hip hop
music and listening everyday makes anyone
a part of the hip hop culture.
Some people grew up in the hip hop culture.
Many people grew up listening to hip hop
music, looked or dressed like hip hop, and
much more. Hip hop’s culture is just everyday
life or everyday living. Most people that grew
up in hip hop maybe lived in
In music culture today, the color of a
performer’s or artist’s skin does not
determine their success in the hip hop
industry. Some are Eminem, Iggy Azalea,
Yelawolf, Lil Dicky, G-Eazy, and
Macklemore. Anyone can be successful in
the music industry.
Hip hop has changed but has stayed the
same overtime. People then and now are
rapping about money, drugs, and a female
in a bad way or male in a bad way. It has
also stayed the same because there are
groups like before. Some groups from the
past were TLC, N.W.A., Run-D.M.C., and
Beastie Boys. Some groups now are A$AP
Mob, Rae Sremmurd, OVO, MMG, and
G.O.O.D. Music. Most groups are very
popular and others are trying to work
themselves up. People in most groups aren’t
good rappers and they are African American,
so the color of skin has nothing to do with
rapping skills.
Some women are underestimated in the
hip hop music industry just because they
are women. A woman can do just about
anything a man can do. People think that
women can’t do a “man’s job” which are
plumber, mechanic, truck driver, rapping,
and much more. Women can do almost
everything a man can do. Just because
they’re a woman doesn’t mean that they
can’t rap or anything.
Anyone can rap that has the skills and know
what is they are talking about. Rapping
doesn’t require a gender or race or even age.
there are even young rappers that are even
more successful than some older rappers.
Young children and adults can be just as
successful as the adult rappers that rap.
Just because they’re young and wants to
rap doesn’t mean they can’t be successful
because it doesn’t matter what the age of
someone who wants to rap.
No race or gender or age belongs to hip hop.
Anyone can rap, dance, or listen to
hip hop because hip hop is a part of
culture, art, music, history, and
clothing trend.
Shadedra,
The formatting and presentation of your op-ed makes the article a bit difficult to read; because you use such short line breaks and large line spacing, it is more difficult for your reader to follow. The sudden line breaks almost make your article look like a poem, which can be disorienting for a reader who expects to read an opinion piece. The typical op-ed features short paragraphs, lines that extend all the way from the left to right margin, and narrow spacing between lines. (See here: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/30/opinion/appalachia-burning.html –or in any professionally published op-ed).
I like the image you selected to accompany the article, but it would be more effective if you had also included a caption linking this collage of rappers to the content of your article. You’ll also want to provide a source credit for the image; this can be as simple as linking the image back to the original source or adding a credit line to your caption.
Because op-eds are dependent on timeliness, they typically begin by relating the subject of the article to an urgent or contemporary issue. The introduction to your op-ed would be more effective if you had included a timely lede to capture your readers’ attention.
I would consider eliminating or qualifying the statement, “Everyone wants to be a part of hip hop or rap.” A lot of people probably want to take part in hip hop culture, but I doubt everyone is vying to join in.
Your statement that hip hop has become popular “because there’s not only African American rappers and also even more groups” is unclear and a bit confusing. Do you mean that hip hop is more popular now than when it was created because it’s a genre that musicians and artists of all races can participate in? Ideally, the language used in op-ed articles is clear, simple, and precise. Make sure you’re expressing your ideas in a way that is clear and easy for your reader to comprehend.
Hyperlinks: the first link you included in your text offers some valuable information about the history and evolution of hip hop, but you’ll also want to consider the target audience of this website–ESL teachers and learners. Is there a more credible, appropriate source that could offer similar information?
Your second hyperlink to Afrika Bambaataa’s definition of hip hop is broken/doesn’t open. This definition is useful, but it would have been more compelling to quote directly from his actual definition.
The third hyperlink to the list of popular white rappers gives a number of examples of successful white hip hop artists, but does it provide any additional information or commentary outside of what you’ve discussed?
This op-ed runs into problems similar to those found in your argument paper; rather than developing a clear, supportable opinion on the issue, you rely more on vague, general statements. Your article doesn’t quite push beyond surface-level claims about who can enjoy hip hop, and some of your commentary seems to lose focus of the central question of your op-ed, “Who does hip hop belong to?”
Minor issues: Proofread for grammar. Avoid incomplete sentences. Pay closer attention to subject/verb agreement and try to avoid dropping the ‘s’ from singular verbs. For instance: “Some people believe that hip hop belong to African Americans” should be, “Some people believe that hip hop belongS…” because hip hop is a singular noun.