Tuition has increased at a rate higher than inflation for 30 years, and the end result is higher student debt and an entire generation at a loss as to how they will pay off their loans. The average cost of tuition across the United States has been rising faster than inflation for the last three decades (Campos). Over the years, numerous researchers have suggested causes and solutions to stop rising tuition. These researchers want Americans to believe tuition is growing, because of increasing administration and lowering state funds each year. Living in America, an education is a given privilege. However, in America, minorities are not given a fair education, because they can’t afford the rising costs. Minorities have higher debt rates, and lower degree counts in higher education. More should be done to ensure all Americans get an equal education.
very nice, but it ended a little funny
Because your focus is on how minorities are affected above others, you may want to add a statistic toward the beginning to emphasize that tuition increases affect everyone, but minorities are affected even more severely. This way, you build context about tuition increases across the board but then focus quickly on how minorities are affected more severely.
Also, notice your first two lines. Saying 30 years or three decades is redundant. Consider blending those two sentences or even taking the 2nd one out and adding (Campos) directly after 30 years in your first sentence.
I like your introduction and think it is very strong. I liked how you put your own opinion in it while also giving facts to back on another up.
I liked how you started it out, but maybe give a number on how much it has risen compared to inflation. I can clearly see your claim at the end and I think it is well stated.
Good intro, but when you brought up minorities having higher debts and lower degree counts, it would good to add a statistic showing that.
Gives good information, but it needs to flow a little better. Seems a little choppy.
The first two sentences seem a little repetitive or redundant. Other than that I really like your introduction.
This is a great introduction! Try to avoid that redundancy in the beginning of your intro. You successfully included causes and effect, and I like how you include how some people are affected by tuition prices within the country. Good Job!
The first sentence grabs the readers attention, but add factual information from some of your sources
I like your introduction, I think you should give statistics about minority to provide support for your commentary. I love it.
Nice, the ending needs work. 30 years/3 decades, redundancy.
Nice beginning but there wasn’t enough initial context on why minorities have higher debts and such. I know you’ll explain later but some initial mention in your introduction would help to keep the reader interested in reading on.