At the start of my research, I asked the question, “Why are kids being bullied?” I believe this is a prevalent issue as we see a increased number of children being bullied in the United States. Actions such as bullying make children feel unsafe and scared at school which leads to withdraw from school and people. My research has led me to believe that across the United States children are being bullied and school authorities just let it happen because “kids are just being kids”. The lack of redirection of this problem from school faculty and officials is alarming and my research suggests that this could have a huge impact in a child’s mental health and future.
For my causal argument, I plan to explore the causal relationship between the bullying at school, and teen suicide rates. Some studies conducted in my research found that children being bullied suffer from higher rates of depression and suicide than children that aren’t being bullied. I plan to address how bullied can lead to attempted suicides and suicides. I plan to mention the effects bullying has on all victims of abuse but in my causal argument, I plan to focus specifically on how the lack of intervention in bully cases can lead to an increase in teen suicides. My working thesis at this point is this:
Living in America, the land of freedom, as a child that is been bullied at school seems like a never ending terror. Instead, many children will think of ending their lives and have a high rate of attempting or committing suicide due to the lack of intervention to stop this problem.
I think you addressed each of the six points on the checklist. There is only a small error in your second paragraph, “I plan to address how bullied can lead to attempted suicides and suicides.”
Your causal argument is well put together and I can see that you really put in thought throughout your research. Make sure to check your grammar. Really like how you added to your thoughts on bullying and not just focused on one central thing in bullying.
I think this is a good causal argument proposal. It is interesting how your research has brought you to analyze such a major and current problem in America. The only thing that is missing is how you would relate this topic to a class cultural myth. In addition, just for personal interest, I would like to know if there is a higher rate of girls being bullied or boys. Also, is it more probable to be bullied if you belong to a certain ethnic group?
There are some grammar errors throughout the proposal. You should also give a little more detail into the how this relates to the myth you chose. Consider adding a fact or statistic to support the relevance of this topic today.
Good job discussing your original research question. I think that you should add a little more information to build kairos. Pay attention to the grammar and punctuations that you use.
Your casual argument proposal is put together very well. It addresses each of the six bullet points in great detail. I would check some of the grammar, but other than that great job.
You follow the checklist well. I like how you explained you process and your reasons on why you changed your thoughts based on the research that you have done.
Great, but I think you should use more kairos. It’s not common to hear about bullying and teen suicides that much anymore due to the police killings and etc.
I think this is a great proposal. This topic is something that is definitely relevant in today’s world. Remember to just fix common grammar use and I think it would be helpful to relate it back to a myth, other than that you covered the 6 point checklist so great job!
great when it come to the building your information for your casual argument but lack kairos