Final Epilogue Post 5/4/17
There I was, a senior in high school all high and mighty. I thought I had everything figured out, but little did I know. Honestly, scared out of my mind to step foot on campus. What would happen if I got lost? Who was going to help me? There I was, scared yet cocky at the same time, trying to push away my fears of not being in high school anymore. Fears of not being smart enough. Fears of not being good enough. Would I be forgotten? I was confused. Broken. I was so sure of my decisions, but what if I was wrong? Was my mom right? Can I really not afford to go to this amazing school- financially or academically? In reality, I did not want to admit I was lost just like everyone else was.
During the first week of college, I was beyond stressed out. In a daily write, I said, “I have already done more in a week than I did in the first semester of high school.” As I looked back on this day, I realized that I could not fathom the reality checks I would later have during the end of fall and the second semester. I realized the moments I thought were so bad, were actually nothing compared to things I would later have to go through.
During the fall, I had no idea that I would later change my major and be so much happier than I was. Even though I was terrified to change my major, I knew I was so unhappy with my initial decision. Now, I am great at what I have been doing and I honestly feel at peace. If God has another thing in store for me, which he will, then he will lead me there, but as of right now I feel like this is where he wants me to be.
Throughout the year, I have learned so many things. I have learned to actually write with my heart and truly express my feelings. I have learned how to effectively study, how to manage my time effectively, and that procrastination is not effective. Organizing my classes correctly and pushing aside classes that do not pertain to my major was a big struggle during the fall semester. I was a music major, and that takes so much more time than a lot of other majors. I could not find the right balance.
During the spring semester, I began to get more interested in gender equality and what being a feminist truly means. “I used to be afraid of the words feminism and gender equality. This was mainly because I had learned about them in a negative connotation. Now that I understand them, I know these are not things that should constantly be pushed aside.” Now that I have a lot more experience with these topics, and have done my research on them, I am more comfortable with them. In the beginning of my freshman year, I would have let anything go. Now, I speak up for what I believe in and I take up for myself, I understand my rights, and also speak up for others who are discriminated against.
This semester has not been bad by any means. It has been difficult, but not bad. This year has been one of the worst, yet one of the best years of my life so far. For example, I have made multiple new friends, I have taken more time for myself and my mental health, and I have done really well in all of my classes. I have so much time now that I am not a music major. I am very happy with how this year has turned out for me, but I still went through a lot to get where I am and I have matured a lot since last semester.
My fast track classes like EDHE and writing really helped me, encouraged me, and gave me a huge support system, like my mentors and advisors, throughout this semester. I really felt like I would have freaked out a lot more throughout freshmen year if I would not have had influential people in my life. Although I had a lot of times where I was so stressed out that I did not know what to do with myself, whether it was about changing my major, my classes, my grades, music theory, or long papers, I had a really great freshmen year.
If someone would have told me a year ago, or even 5 months ago, that my life would be the way it is today, I would have called them insane. I would not be able to believe them. To go from a music education major to doubling in math and math education is a huge difference. Last semester, I had no idea this is what I wanted, but I am so much better where I am.
I was good enough. I was smart enough. I was okay. I did get lost, in my own-self and on campus, but I found my way. I fell so many times, but I kept getting back up. I did not have any other choice. I know that these will not be my only struggles. I will always deal with trials throughout my life, especially towards the end of my college career. In order to grow and mature, one has to go through trials to get where they are supposed to be. I would give anything to be able to go back and tell my past self that it was okay to feel afraid. It was okay to not know what I was doing. That even though everything did not turn out as planned, it turned out okay. Life may get worse, but it gets better, too.
Daily Write 5/1/17
-Reasons for sexual assault within the military
-Gender Stereotypes
-College Identity
-Should the drinking age be lowered in the US?
-Would you help a refugee?
These are just some of the multiple papers I have done throughout this year. Some of my research can effect my future career as a teacher and it will effect how I think about my future students. These different things have effected how I think about equality for the most part. I used to be afraid of the words feminism and gender equality. Mainly because I had learned about them in a negative connotation. Now that I understand them, I know these are not things that should constantly be pushed aside. I should not let things that bother me continue to bother me. If no one else will say something, then I know I should.
Daily Write 4/28/17
Life after high school is so much more than I thought it would be. During the end of my senior year, I was freaking out. What was orientation going to be like? Would I make new friends? Would I be forgotten in high school after I left? College is not what I expected it to be, by any means, but I would not change a thing if I was able. Do not get me wrong, there is a lot of coffee, a lot of hours the library, required things to go to, a lot of procrastination, and stress. There is more stress than anything else, but would you be doing it right if there wasn’t? College was the absolute best decision of my life for a lot of different reasons: I have met so many new friends who are like family to me now. I finally got away from home. I am so much more experienced now with how everything works in college and what I need to do to be successful.
Daily Write 4/26/17
There I was, a senior in high school all high and mighty. I thought I had everything figured out, but little did I know. Honestly, scared out of my mind to step foot on campus. What would happen if I got lost? Who was going to help me? There I was scared yet cocky at the same time trying to push away my fears of not being in high school anymore. Fears of not being smart enough. Fears of not being good enough. Would I be forgotten? I was confused. Broken. I was so sure of my decisions, but what if I was wrong? In reality I just did not want to admit I was lost just like everyone else. What I would give to go back and tell myself that it was okay to feel this way. It was okay to not know what I was doing. That even though everything did not turn out as planned, it turned out okay. It gets better.
Daily Write 4/24/17
In my epilogue post in December, I wrote “I had a ‘reality check’ during my very first week at Ole Miss. I said ‘I have already done more in a week than I did in the first semester of high school.’ I almost expected college to be harder than it is, but it is mainly just different. I enjoy the challenges that have been thrown at me. Of course, I did not like them at the time, but they made me much stronger in the long run.”
At the time, I was not ready for the multiple reality checks I would later have during second semester. I realized the moments I thought were so bad were actually nothing compared to things I have had to go through during Spring Semester. Spring Semester has not been awful by any means. I have had more time because of not having marching band. I have made even more friends and I went to visit my family a lot more than I originally had been. I am very happy with how spring semester has turned out for me, but I still went through so much more and I have matured a lot since last semester academically and in every other area.
I am so much happier than I was during the first semester of college. I did not know for sure what I wanted to do, even though I told myself I did. I have put myself and my feeling first. I have grown spiritually, physically, and mentally. It gets harder, but it gets better.
Unit 4 reflection
I always love this unit. For some reason, I am good at navigating these websites and figuring out how to work them. I love how my website turned out even though I have a good bit left to finish. My topic also did not bother me because in each unit, I changed it slightly each time. I feel accomplished and I’m just ready for that final push!
Unit 3 Reflection
My advice to a new student beginning the research paper would be to never be afraid to email their teacher and ask for help because it really does help. I would also discuss with them how helpful the student samples are and how they can contribute to their paper. I would talk about how they should put a lot of effort into the annotated bib because it helps so much with the works cited page, citing, commentary, and makes sure you have enough sources for your paper. I really liked the annotated bib (after it was done) because it has been so useful in my paper. If you forgot what a source was about, you could easily read the commentary you wrote on the source and decide which source best fits what you need. I would say that although it is sometimes hard to have the introduction or rough draft done in time for peer review, peer review for me was so effective. Also, having your teacher basically make you start on your paper and slowly add day by day helps by not procrastinating the paper and think on it for a long time.
Daily write 4/5/17 revising and adding more attributions for sources
A great example of this is when Turchik says “The male-dominated environment of the military has traditionally not been very inviting or prepared to handle the needs of women. The military is often viewed as an environment that promotes hypermasculinity and rigid sex roles.”
Revised:
Jessica Turchik, a professor at Stanford University, discusses how the male-dominated environment within the military is not very welcoming when handling the needs of women. “The military is often viewed as an environment that promotes hyper masculinity and rigid sex roles.”
Daily write 4/3/17 Peer review of rough draft
The peer review was pretty helpful today. My paper has a long way to go so it was a little difficult to analyze, but my partner gave me some good feedback. My revision plans for Wednesday are to add in places I need to expand, add in my solution paragraphs, and really dig into my annotated bib and add in all of my sources and how they connect to the paper. In my paper, I also need to connect how the military and sexual assault are connected and really expand on what is going on with this epidemic, then expand on how I believe hyper masculine stereotypes are contributing to this problem.
Daily Write 3/31/17
My counterclaim for my research paper would be the religious views that say women are supposed to submit to the husband. I believe that the man should be the spiritual leader of the household, but not overbearing and not someone women are expected to submit and tend to every need they have. Although many believe men should be the spiritual leader of the household and someone their family should look to for advice and look up to. This authority should not turn violent, abusive, or submissive.